December 13, 2002|
The latest test results came in. They weren’t a shock or a surprise, given the current circumstances- incredible amounts of pain, dry itchy skin and swollen lymph nodes. The Hodgkin’s Disease had returned.
There wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do to bring it back. Instead there were just a few Hodgkin’s Cells floating around that hooked up with each other and multiplied. It’s so amazing how it virtually happened over night. I had a phenomenal autumn, having gained most of my weight back and gotten into decent physical shape. One day, that’s all it took. The blip showed up on the PET Scan, the nodes swelled and the pain grew.
I started treatment immediately. Yesterday I had the first of four weekly infusions of Rituxin, a drug, that has some success against such reoccurrences. After the Rituxin there are few options available. Maybe get a second infusion of Billy’s cells. Maybe do low dose chemotherapy. Not much more. I can’t do any more transplants or high-dose chemotherapy regiments. It would probably kill me.
I’m extremely disappointed and hurt. Just as things were turning a corner in my life, this happens. Running out of options. Running out of time. Running out of hope.
December 9, 2002|
Two weeks ago, a few days after receiving my “good” test results, I felt an unusual pain in my groin area. Upon further examination, I discovered a number of swollen lymph nodes. They didn’t bother me too much, evident by the fact that I was out dancing with a bunch of friends till 2:30am that Saturday. Gradually the pain increased. My doctor became very concerned. Before I left for Ohio for Thanksgiving, I spent almost all day Tuesday at the hospital getting tests done, including a needle biopsy with a surgeon. The biopsy proved inconclusive, so I was put on the docket for a real biopsy (surgery where a lymph node(s) is removed).
In the meanwhile the pain has increased greatly. To combat the pain, I have been put back on some serious pain killers. Typically I am in one of three states nowadays- asleep, in pain, or high. I haven’t really left the house for a few days.
Last Thursday morning I had my biopsy. It went quite well. Thankfully my parents came in and have been helping me. They’ll be here until we get the results, which should happen on this Wednesday. It could be anything from a reoccurrence of the Hodgkin’s Disease, to a really strange infection, to a weird virus, to a new type of cancer.
Thank you for your calls and emails of concern. I appreciate you much. I don’t know what to make of all of this and have no freakin’ clue as to what is going on.