August 11, 2001|
It’s been awhile…
It’s been awhile since I last gave a full update of my situation. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much new news to write about till now.
Latest Health News
The wheels are finally in motion. Yesterday I did a CT Scan and PET scan to see how and where the cancer is progressing. Lately my left leg has been getting more painful and a row of lymph nodes have popped up along the right side of neck going all the way up and behind my ear. The nodes are small but tender, so I can internally feel them more than I can see or feel them externally.
“Margaret Thatcher Naked, Margaret Thatcher Naked…”
Nurse Practioner David Rice (a New Wilmington/Mercer guy for you Western Pennsylvanians) is usually the one who examines me to feel for any new growths. We have this joke when it comes to the armpit test. I am extremely ticklish. Extremely ticklish. (Don’t get any ideas:)) When he first started doing the test to feel around for any new popped-up nodes, I would repeat, “Margaret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked…” to think of something that would not make me laugh (i.e. seeing Margaret Thatcher naked would be something quite unfunny) while he poking around my armpits.
So anyway, he starts repeating “Margaret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked…” when he wants to do the armpit test and wants me not to laugh, and it just so happened that he found some nodes up there very recently.
Decision Time
Obviously having nodes appear is not a good thing, but it actually is. I have learned to deal with uncertainty quite well these past few months, but it is nice to know that now one thing is quite certain: I am going to have to do some form of treatment soon.
It has also allowed me to mentally start preparing me for the upcoming battle. There are a lot of good memories that I still carry around from my stem cell transplant, but there are a lot of bad memories, many of which I have purged from my memory. But now I need these bad memories to prepare me…the rubber tube sticking out of my chest, nurses waking me up every three hours to take my temperature, nurses waking me up at 4:30am to weigh me (how stupid is that??? see my January entries for what that’s all about), losing my hair, not being able to eat…I gotta do it all over again. I’m not going to lie, it’s gonna suck. But if it’ll get me better, than I’ll do it. It’s my choice- live with it, or die without it.
Next Up
I have few more minor tests to take and then by the end of August I should have an idea of where I will be and what I will be doing. Stay tuned!