In Flux*

May 31, 2001|

In Flux*

True we are still “in flux” after today’s latest appointment, but the real truth (hence the *) is the Hodgkin’s Disease has returned. The super-sensitive PET Scan showed abnormal increased cell activity (cancer cells multiplying) in the right side of my neck (where that node is), in myhips and in my right leg (hence all of the pain there). The “in flux” part is that my health has been improving, compared to a month ago, and that I don’t exhibit any symptoms of it being back. We have to wait and see what happens in terms of next steps. We can’t start the process of identifying treatment options till we have all of the information on what we are dealing with. It might not be Hodgkin’s anymore, so that will require a biopsy in a few weeks. Also I will find out the possibility of finding a match for a bone marrow transplant in a few more weeks. There are many many factors involved that just require more time.

I have had a gut feeling for awhile that it has returned. Remission is still an option, but more realistically living with cancer the rest of life (how long, I don’t know) is the more sound of the options. So for now we are “in flux*”.

That’s all I can really write now. When I get a chance and get more information, I will pass it along. For now though, rest assure that I am feel fine, am doing fine and will continue on my daily routine until more information is available about my options. Please keep in touch and in prayer about making sound and wise decisions. Thanks.

NOTE: I also, somehow, lost my cell phone today. So if you are trying to call it and are getting my voicemail, I apologize. The best way to reach me is to e-mail me at Hopefully we will find it soon or get another phone up and running.


May 22, 2001|


Latest news: PET Scan, of course is on Tuesday May 29th. We will get the results on Thursday May 31st. Look for a quick posting about what is happening. Can you feel the drama???

Remember all of that stuff I was lecturing about in terms of choices we make in life, the way we react, etc. etc… here’s further confirmation of my whole theory. I have been reading the Harry Potter books, and in the second book after Harry saves the day, Professor Dumbledore tells Harry, “It is our choices, Harry, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.” I thought that was so interesting…

I also forgot to mention the new tradition we have started here in NYC that I hope a.) I will continue doing for the rest of my life and b.) you may consider doing. Three weeks ago a group of twelve of my friends and myself gathered at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse to celebrate life, friendship and good times. We gathered around a round table and gorged ourselves on the finest of steak, vegtables, wine and desserts. Three hours later we left ready for bed, too exhausted to do anything else. Not only was the food amazing, but it was just an incredibly fun night just hanging out and talking. From now on, once a month I intended to gather whoever is town and hold what is now known as “The Celebration”, going to a great restuarant, and gorging ourselves on food and friendship. Sometimes in the midst of a busy week/month we lose sight of our priorities. This is a significant event to reset those priorities. Anyway, in three weeks we hope to do it again. E-mail me if you want to go.

Keep in touch, the Palm VIIx is in, so I am now getting a grip on my e-mailing. Thanks!

Sorry for Being a Slacker…

May 16, 2001|

Sorry for Being a Slacker…

I apologize for not doing an update sooner and for not writing back e-mails. I have been really busy with work, with travelling and with life. I am like a month behind on e-mails. I have been getting frantic e-mails from folks wondering if I am OK because they haven’t heard from me. I am alive, well, and kickin’. Just busay. I just bought a Palm VIIx (they are now on sale for $199!) which has wireless e-mail, so that should help me manage my e-mail load. I will be able to do e-mail on the bus in the morning and at night, and also when I am away on the weekends. My apologies again.

DC, Philly, DC again…oh, and that PET Scan thing…

Last weekend I was in DC helping out the Connection as they travelled in from Youngstown to perform at the America Sings! festival at the Washington Monument. It was an experience, let me tell you, reliving my high school days of staying up late, getting up early, and working hard all day long. We had a great time, the group performed wonderfully, and I before leaving I got to see my friends and family done in the DC area, who I haven’t seen in months.

This weekend I am off to Philly to see my brother Frank, his fiancee Heather and other friends graduate from Penn. Another fun weekend trip, if you Philly peeps want to hang out, give a yell.

In two weeks I am off to the ‘burbs of DC for a Gen X leadership conference with some folks from Redeemer, my church here in NYC. I am very stoked for that trip and look forward to learning a lot.

In between the latter two, I have my PET Scan on May 29th. I imagine I will get the results a week later. Those are the days to look for my next update, and the days to be prayin’ hard. The node on my neck is still hangin’ around. My lung feels better and my left leg is gradually improving. I can go until about 6pm without any leg pain or gimping, then it hits and I have a limp. Progress, my friends, progress.

At Goldman Sachs, I am working 8-10 hour days, which is a good balance. Not too much to wear me out, but just enough to keep me busy. I am really enjoying my work now, as I do some curriculum research and development on cool topics in leadership, personality and life skills.

Up next

I will respond to your emails, if not this weekend, next weekend when I am free.

I will post an update the week after my PET Scan with the dealio.

I will post some more insightful learnings, when I get a chance.

You will pray big time in two weeks.

You will e-mail me and love me, despite my failings at writing back 🙂

Still Baffled

May 3, 2001|

Still Baffled

OK, so it has been more than two weeks and I still don’t know what to make of my last appointment. But I will take it. I went in two days ago to get a routine check-up, and the same thing, “gotta wait and see…” But at least this time Dr. Moskowitz said I look better, and my lungs sound better. Of course I look better! After sitting on death’s doorstep, anyone who survives that is going to look a whole lot better! 🙂

The Decision

I came to a point of decision this past weekend. As you might guess from my overall tone, I have not handled these past three weeks very well. They were by far the worst weeks of my life, and that is saying a lot considering all I have been through. So anyway on Monday, after a rough weekend of battling emotional forces I realized that this battle comes down to a choice. Do I let myself get entangled in a battle that ultimately has not a winner? Do I let my emotions and feelings rule me?

So after much prayer, journaling and reading I came to the conclusion that we can not always control what happens in our life. I am sure you can relate with numerous examples. BUT, what we can control are our reactions to those events. This is not necessarily rocket science, and I have known this for awhile, but it never really availed itself to much till I had to deal with it at such a macro level.

Metaphorically speaking, it’s not about what pitch is thrown at us, it is what we do with it. Do we say “That pitch is too fast, I can’t hit it” and don’t swing? Or do we take a swing, using the knowledge of previous pitchs that we have encountered like it and look for the big hit?

I mean, think about it. We really have a choice about what happens during our day. Our reaction to the events are what allow us to have a good or bad day. Our stress level, our health, our general well-being all is dependent upon on how well we react to what we are given in life. I have just felt and looked horrible these past weeks. Even when I was sleeping my pulse was flying! It dawned on me one day that I am doing this to myself! “Hello Art! YOU idiot! Quit doing this to yourself!” I had to make the decision that no matter what happens to me, I need to continue to steadfastly believe in the greater purpose in it all. It has done wonders for my looks, and my pulse. If any of you would like further insight to my experience I suggest reading 2 Corinthinians 1:1-11. It completely sums up what I felt and the solution to the problem.

Up Next

May 29 is the big day. That’s the PET Scan that will determine everything. I still have a bum leg (caused by the pinched nerve in my lower back), a right lung that we don’t know what is wrong with it, and a giant lymph node sticking out of the right side of my neck. Keep up the prayers man, they are the answer. From the feedback I have received, I have gotten wonderful responses about people’s fasting experiences. They can’t explain it, but something is going on when they do it, their day seems to be different, and “coincidences” (good ones) occur. HELLLLOOO!!! Anyway, we will probably put the prayer calendar up again soon. More on the way…