December 12, 2000|

Back to Reality

I had being living “normally” for the past few weeks and enjoying it. I thought it was going to last awhile, at least until my hospitalization. Then last Thursday I got a whammy – the back pain came back. I don’t know where or how, it just did. Everyday after that it got worse and worse. I started taking my pain killing morphine pills, but then those side effects (extreme drowsiness, mad constipation, loopiness) kicked in. We are hoping the radiation on that area, which I start Thursday, shrinks those bad boys and knocks off the pain. If not, then I have to deal with this until the 28th, when I get admitted into the hospital. Pain is one of those things that grows you up really quick, ya know? Especially in this situation, I know it hurts, but I also know it won’t hurt in three weeks. There’s not much I can do but suck it up, try to manage it, and move on with life – doing things! Gotta stay busy.

I also have been closely monitoring the Mario Lemieux story. Super Mario is back and will be playing for the Pittsburgh Penguins again. That is an amazing story. He’s had to fight off back pain and also beat Hodgkin’s Disease. Shoot, if Mario can do it, I can do it! I am in good company.

Better Understanding

I had a big shock occur Friday morning. My mom told me the scary news that my high school choir director had gotten into a bad accident the night before while driving to a performance. Dr. Baird was late, so the kids knew that something was wrong. Dr. Baird is never ever late. The kids did the performance accapella, and then went across the street to the Highway Patrol office (convenient!). There they were told the bad news and rushed to the hospital. The information from here gets sketchy, but she is not doing well and remains in stable condition.

I never really understood how a lot of you felt about my situation. Words of frustration and helplessness dotted some of my earlier conversations when you found out about me. I now understand, though. I have such a helpless feeling now for Dr. Baird. There’s nothing I really can do. Even those in Youngstown can’t do very much as only family can visit her right now (despite the fact that anyone who went through the Youngstown Connection can be seriously considered her family), so they are in the same boat. I feel doubly helpless, four hundred miles away. The only thing we really can do in such situations is pray for that person.

New Pages/Site

I did realize that I could do something. I could write. I had amassed a ton of e-mail addresses of friends, family and former members of the groups. So I e-mailed them out, informing them and getting some prayers in motion. In addition, I have been waiting for the right time to put up the Connection page off of my web site. Last night I cranked out the page. I still have a lot of pictures and stories to put in, but for now we have a page. Definitely take a look at it when you get a chance.

Webmaster Patrick and I also spent most of the weekend redesigning the site, as you can tell. There is now a message board. You can also e-mail me straight from the site. And the February Prayer Calendar is up and running. If you have any suggestions for the site, pass them along!

That’s all for now…please pray for Dr. Baird. Another update should be up next week about this time.