May 3, 2001|
Still Baffled
OK, so it has been more than two weeks and I still don’t know what to make of my last appointment. But I will take it. I went in two days ago to get a routine check-up, and the same thing, “gotta wait and see…” But at least this time Dr. Moskowitz said I look better, and my lungs sound better. Of course I look better! After sitting on death’s doorstep, anyone who survives that is going to look a whole lot better! 🙂
The Decision
I came to a point of decision this past weekend. As you might guess from my overall tone, I have not handled these past three weeks very well. They were by far the worst weeks of my life, and that is saying a lot considering all I have been through. So anyway on Monday, after a rough weekend of battling emotional forces I realized that this battle comes down to a choice. Do I let myself get entangled in a battle that ultimately has not a winner? Do I let my emotions and feelings rule me?
So after much prayer, journaling and reading I came to the conclusion that we can not always control what happens in our life. I am sure you can relate with numerous examples. BUT, what we can control are our reactions to those events. This is not necessarily rocket science, and I have known this for awhile, but it never really availed itself to much till I had to deal with it at such a macro level.
Metaphorically speaking, it’s not about what pitch is thrown at us, it is what we do with it. Do we say “That pitch is too fast, I can’t hit it” and don’t swing? Or do we take a swing, using the knowledge of previous pitchs that we have encountered like it and look for the big hit?
I mean, think about it. We really have a choice about what happens during our day. Our reaction to the events are what allow us to have a good or bad day. Our stress level, our health, our general well-being all is dependent upon on how well we react to what we are given in life. I have just felt and looked horrible these past weeks. Even when I was sleeping my pulse was flying! It dawned on me one day that I am doing this to myself! “Hello Art! YOU idiot! Quit doing this to yourself!” I had to make the decision that no matter what happens to me, I need to continue to steadfastly believe in the greater purpose in it all. It has done wonders for my looks, and my pulse. If any of you would like further insight to my experience I suggest reading 2 Corinthinians 1:1-11. It completely sums up what I felt and the solution to the problem.
Up Next
May 29 is the big day. That’s the PET Scan that will determine everything. I still have a bum leg (caused by the pinched nerve in my lower back), a right lung that we don’t know what is wrong with it, and a giant lymph node sticking out of the right side of my neck. Keep up the prayers man, they are the answer. From the feedback I have received, I have gotten wonderful responses about people’s fasting experiences. They can’t explain it, but something is going on when they do it, their day seems to be different, and “coincidences” (good ones) occur. HELLLLOOO!!! Anyway, we will probably put the prayer calendar up again soon. More on the way…