December 27, 2000| (taken from Message Board)
I sure miss Patrick (my webmaster)! The site is not the same, huh?
Friday I was released and my parents and I rushed to LaGuardia to catch our plane. No need to rush we discovered. Our flight to Pittsburgh, scheduled to leave at 3:40pm, didn’t actually get out till 11:30pm. Everyone at the airport was complaining and bellyaching. Me, I couldn’t have been happier. Nothing could have beat waiting for my flight, anything was better than being in the hospital. It was a busy weekend, I don’t think I got a chance to breathe. I had so many people to visit and see, so much to do, it was great.
Little did I know, behind my back, many of you were taking part in this quilt making deal. I couldn’t believe that no one blew it! No one blew the surprise! Not even my mom! The quilt is amazing. My aunt Joyce, who made it, thought she would get a couple pieces back and that she would have to do the rest. She ended up pulling an all nighter getting all the pieces sewed on, as there were enough pieces for a back and front! What is the quilt? Anyway, for those of you who they couldn’t reach in time to get a piece on the quilt, there are still a few empty squares to sign if you ever come to visit. I was totally shocked though, and really touched. The only thing I could think was that I have a responsibility to all these people to work my darndest to get better. It’s inspirational to see it. I was so touched. Man.
Today I go into the hospital to start the stem cell transplant. Five straight days of chemo, then the recovery. Happy New Year! 🙂 Hey, I am ready to get it over with and to get healthy. It ended up that these lesions are of the utmost concern, but the stem cell should knock them out. I hope so.
Am I ready?
I don’t necessarily feel prepared for this battle. I haven’t had time to prepare physically (I am still way down weightwise), mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Last week kinda set me back. But that is part of this adventure, going into this not at full strength. I think in the end it will make me that much more stronger.
Last week was rough. And I realize how I didn’t help make it better at all. Yeah, I am allowed to get down, yeah I am human. But a lot of what got me down was my own selfishness. It was all about “me.” I was so focused on myself and why this had to happen to me that I missed opportunities to help others, especially during that week of Christmas. I feel somewhat ashamed. For example, my roommate really needed to be cheered up as he was going to be in the hospital during Christmas, and my dad did an awesome job. But where was I? Complaining on my butt. Just because life throws a curveball that doesn’t seem fair doesn’t give us any right to dwell on it. The next pitch is coming. Yeah, it was rough last week. But the next couple weeks are going to be rougher. Now is my time to step up, and be the light I need to be.
I am really behind with e-mails, as so many of you have e-mailed me cheerful notes trying to bring me up from last week. Thank you and I am trying my best to catch up.
More updates on the way…